


The Photograph

by ReturnToFiction



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Coming Out, Fluff, HoltxJake, Humour, JakexHolt, Jealousy, M/M, Perholta, Romance, Secret Relationship, Smut, b99 - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:02:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 12,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22018330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReturnToFiction/pseuds/ReturnToFiction
Summary: Jacob Peralta may be brilliant, but he also has a childish streak which hitherto could not be tamed. Good thing Captain Holt is determined to get Jake under control, one way or another.Featuring Jake and his enormous praise kink, Holt in all his dominant glory, and copious amounts of Nine-Nine hijinks.
Relationships: Ray Holt & Jake Peralta, Ray Holt/Jake Peralta
Comments: 53
Kudos: 234





	1. The Photograph

**Author's Note:**

> [Disclaimer: I do not own Brooklyn-99 or any of the characters in this story. This is a non-commercial, fair-use work.]

_“Peralta!”_

Each syllable was annunciated, Captain Holt’s sharp displeasure ringing through the bullpen. At his desk, Jake’s shoulders tensed, and he slowly slid further down in his office chair. Opposite him, Amy smirked to herself, and Rosa looked across at Jake in interest; it was as if it was a favourite past time of the other detectives to watch Jake get into trouble (it was).

“Oooo Jakey boy is in for it” Gina said, not troubling to keep her voice down. Holt ignored her, and continued to stride towards Jake’s desk, at which Jake was now pretending to be reading a case file just inches from his face.

“Peralta. I can see you, that is A4 paper, not an invisibility cloak-”. Jake couldn’t help himself, and before he’d realised what he was doing he’d thrown the file down and was staring up at his Captain, incredulous.

“Captain, you’ve read Harry Potter? You know about invisibility cloaks? Man, tell me, how bummed were you in book six when Snape-“

“Peralta! Enough. If you must know, an ex-boyfriend of mine made me watch the films; I was younger, more persuadable, and more… whimsical. I assure you that I have since grown up, I am simply trying to communicate in a way you will understand given your childish nature. Now stop this nonsense and join me in my office. Now.” The Captain didn’t wait for Jake to stand up, instead, he turned on his heel and marched back towards his office. Begrudgingly, Jake followed him, exchanging looks with Charles, who was cooking lunch (if you could call what Charles concocted ‘lunch’) in the kitchen.

“What’s this about el Capitan?” Jake asked, after entering Holt’s office and closing the door behind him. He didn’t know why he had been called in (honestly, there was far too may possible ways he may have annoyed his SO), but he would bet that it wasn’t good. Holt fixed him with a look, and nodded at the chairs on the other side of his desk, indicating for Jake to sit down. Holt was silent as Jake took his seat, and it made Jake squirm a little. Life wasn’t fair, what sort of joke was the universe pulling to make him both constantly in need of praise, and simultaneously needing to push boundaries. He couldn’t win and _life wasn’t fair_.

“Captain?” he tried, hoping to get this over with quickly.

Holt was still looking at him, impassive and unreadable as ever. Then suddenly, he leant forward. “What do you think you’re doing, Peralta?” he questioned, low, serious, and completely in control.

“Uhhh, sitting down… with my Captain… who I respect very much and… who is… looking kinda… rage-filled, right now? No… confused, maybe? No, no, I got it, filled with deep attraction due to my dashing good looks and wily charm… you know what, I never can read you when you’re like this, go ahead” Jake was floundering and he knew it. He averted his eyes down towards the floor, looking at the carpet, his trainers, literally anything but Captain Holt.

“Peralta. You sent this during working hours; that was _incredibly_ inappropriate”. And just like that, Jake had a niggling feeling he knew what this was about. He finally raised his head, and his suspicions were confirmed. He was looking at a photo of himself on Holt’s phone, a naked photo of himself.

He’d been feeling particularly frisky this morning when he was getting ready for work and decided to take a rather cheeky shower selfie. He then waited until he got into work at nine am (well, nine-thirteen, punctuality was not a skill of Jake’s); then, when he was finally sat at his desk and the Captain was in his office, he sent the photo. You know, for giggles. Evidently, Holt had only just opened the message.

“I thought you’d like it, Sir. You know, morning motivation?” he tried, biting at his bottom lip, and tentatively meeting his superior’s eyes; they were burning into his.

“Oh, I am sure the intention was that I would enjoy it very much… far too much for a work environment. Come here, Jacob” Holt crooked his finger at his detective, and Jake was out of his seat before he’d realised quite what he was doing. He rounded the desk as Holt pushed his office chair back a bit, and turned it slightly face Jake. With a swift look at his Captain’s crotch, Jake knew that his picture had achieved the desired effect.

“Come here, Jacob” Holt repeated, his voice impossibly low, reaching out to grasp Jake by the hips, and pulling him onto his lap. Within seconds, they were kissing. Jake felt one of Holt’s hand sliding up his back, under his shirt, whilst Jake threw himself enthusiastically into the kiss. When the other man pulled away, Jake tried to chase the kiss, but Holt’s other hand pushing back on his chest stopped him. Holding his detective still, the Captain leant to whisper into Jake’s ear.

“And now you have got me being unprofessional, too. Unacceptable. Be at my house for seven pm tonight - you’re in so much trouble, and I wish to discipline you in a setting that will allow me to… give you what you deserve. Do not be late.” It was over as quickly as it had begun, and Jake found himself being pushed off of his Captain’s lap. It took him a few seconds to compose himself enough to confirm that he would be there, and then he was promptly dismissed.

Unsurprisingly, Jake found it hard to focus during the final hours of his shift. Sure, he was in trouble, but it was his favourite kind of trouble. He absolutely could not wait for seven pm.


	2. Crime and Punishment

At six fifty-eight pm that evening Jake was stood outside Holt’s front door, shuffling his feet on the porch, and trying to straighten out his shirt (it really did need an iron, but _who even owns an iron, apart from Amy, who probably has a favourite iron and three back-ups_?). It really was a lost cause, though, so Jake took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

Moments later, Holt answered, looking dashing in a dark blue button-up. He looked Jake up and down in silence and stepped back to let Jake in.

“Hey, Sir” Jake greeted, coyly. He had his game plan in mind; he was going to use the sweet, innocent, and oh-so-fuckable routine. He even bit his lip a little for effect, and wondered if looking up at Holt through his eyelashes would be overkill.

Despite himself, Holt smiled a little at the man in front of him. That was one of the few surprising differences between work-Holt and the Holt in front of him, he actually smiled in a way that was decipherable to another normal human being.

“Hello, Jacob. On-time I see, impressive. Eager to receive your punishment?” He was very close to Jake, very close indeed, and Jake had to look up to meet his eyes.

“Maybeeeee”, he was all in, looking up through his eyelashes and all, and he knew he had his Captain in his clutches. Holt may be in charge, both at work and in the bedroom, but Jake had him wrapped tightly around his little finger.

“Well, you are going to have to wait, I have our evening all planned out. First, we are going to enjoy a meal consisting of ingredients that provide both maximum nutrition and minimum distracting flavour. Secondly, I have just bought a vinyl of some of Bach’s most exquisite works, which I would love to listen to with you. Finally, I was thinking that we could retreat to the library, and share a nightcap over some classic poetry before we retire for the night. Then we’ll commence your punishment” Holt monologued, straight-faced and serious. Jake was trying not to groan in exasperation. _What does he mean ‘then we’ll commence your punishment? The whole night sounds like one big punishment!_

Jake was trying not to let disappointment show on his face, this was not the evening he had hoped for, and his stomach was slowly sinking. Then Holt moved closer and pressed his forehead to Jake’s. “That was humour, Jake. We will be skipping straight to your punishment. Go upstairs, strip, and be waiting for me on the bed, got it?”

Jake didn’t need telling twice. He stole a quick kiss and then darted away up the stairs to the bedroom he’d become so fond of over the last few months. It took no time at all for him to get naked; he threw his clothes haphazardly on the floor, partly out of eagerness to finish undressing, and partly to annoy Holt. Finally undressed, Jake crawled onto the bed and sat with his legs dangling over the edge and bouncing excitedly, and his hands folded in his lap.

Footsteps signalled that Holt was coming up the stairs and Jake’s stomach tightened with excitement. It took no time at all for Holt to enter, stride across to the bed, and put his hand on Jake’s face, tilting his chin upward towards him.

“Are you ready to make up for your misbehaviour this morning, Jacob?” his tone was so serious, and it made Jake harden shamelessly. He nodded frantically as Holt unbuttoned his trousers but left the zip up, and Jake knew what to do. Leaning forward, he captured the zipper between his teeth to pull it down, before grasping both the top of Holt’s trousers and the waistband of his boxers and tugging slightly to bring both down. Holt was already hard, and it sent a delightful shiver through Jake. Closing his eyes, he took his captain into his mouth and sucked lightly on the tip, running his tongue up through the slit in a way he knew drove Holt crazy, even if he’d never admit it to the detective in front of him.

He felt Holt wind his fingers into his hair, tugging slightly and pulling in a deceptively gentle way. Jake knew what came next. Opening his eyes, he looked up at his Captain, who had stilled his hands; he may have had his mouth full, but the look he shared with Holt conveyed all he needed to say. _Yes._

Even though he was prepared for it, Jake nearly choked a little as Holt started to thrust into his mouth, fucking his face in a way that was barely controlled, but controlled all the same. Jake’s eyes started to water as his punishment continued, so he focused on keeping his breathing steady. He wanted to be a good boy for Holt tonight; praise always followed punishment, and he wanted his praise so bad. Besides, it wasn’t like he wasn’t loving this, and it was on the tamer side of things that he and Holt had got up to. After all, Jake hadn’t exactly been on his worst behaviour this morning; this wasn’t serious punishment, the selfie had just been a wonderful excuse to get Jake into bed and under his control.

Suddenly, Jake felt Holt move back and heard the telltale rustle of clothes being removed. Even after months of sneaking around together, Jake wasn’t tired of seeing his Captain get naked. It was thrilling and sexy and so very against the rules (probably, Jake hadn’t looked it up, far too much reading) and that made it ten times hotter to him.

Then they were on the bed, legs entwined and kissing fiercely. Jake let out a moan as Holt kissed down his neck and began to suck at the sensitive skin he found there. That was the second surprising thing about off-duty-Ray-Holt, he was a big fan of leaving love bites on his eager detective. Shirt collars only hid so much, though, so he usually preferred to leave them on the inside of Jake’s thighs. Jake was his: his plaything, his secret, his pleasure, and he loved marking him as such.

In no time, Jake was wrapping his legs around Holt’s waist, breathing deeply as he felt Holt push inside him.

“Good boy, Jacob, you are doing so good. You are being so good for me” Holt murmured, as, inch by inch, he pushed further into his needy lover until he bottomed out. The look Jake gave him was so full of adoration and want that it nearly dazed his Superior. Jake’s face was flushed, his pupils were wide and his eyelids slightly closed.

“Sir… fuck me”.

Holt didn’t need telling twice.


	3. A Blur of Memories

Jake was in a state of bliss - Holt’s strong arm was wrapped around him, he was warm under high quality sheets, and he was still encompassed by the post-sex afterglow. _Everybody likes to be the little spoon, it’s just a fact of life._

Behind him, Holt’s breathing was slow and steady; he had fallen asleep with Jake still pressed tight against him. Yet, it hadn’t always been this way. At the start of their relationship, Holt had insisted on sleeping in what he described as ‘the only appropriate slumber position’ which did not involve cuddling, or contact of any form. However, that just didn’t work for Jake. It took a while but he had worn him down, and it turned out that Holt actually quite enjoyed spooning once he tried it, though he still point-blank refused to use any pet-names.

It had been just over six months since their first kiss; sometimes, Jake still couldn’t believe it had happened. Sure, he’d been inappropriately attracted to his boss for as long as he could remember, but he never expected anything to come of it. Holt was just so professional, and stoic, and so not into annoying, immature detectives that worked tirelessly to push his buttons. Until he was. Or maybe he had always been - Jake had never asked, too afraid that Holt would say that there was a time where he wasn’t overly fond of him.

In that six months, so much had changed. Being a detective in Brooklyn was never boring, but it was even less so since he and Holt had become something more than colleagues. That was another thing - being in a relationship whilst keeping it a secret from their co-workers was so very difficult, especially since said co-workers were exemplary detectives (Hitchcock and Scully notwithstanding). Honestly, Jake was surprised they’d managed to keep it under wraps for so long, but he could determine that there were two key factors to their success: firstly, he was not out to anyone on the squad, meaning that any enquiries about his love life were focused around women; secondly, he annoyed Holt frequently, and was likely the last person the squad would expect Holt to spend time with out-of-office. Though, they didn’t necessarily know that Jake was an irritant on purpose, because that was the quickest way to get Holt’s attention at any given time.

Jake twisted and shuffled until he’d rolled over to face his boyfriend. _Boyfriend. Still sounds weird._ Despite how relaxed he was physically, his mind was still running too fast to sleep. So many memories were competing for pole position in his mind.

Their first date was particularly memorable, and not just for the obvious reason. It was Jake’s first date with a man, as well as his first taste of Indonesian food (Holt complained that the spice blend had ‘too much depth’, _whatever that meant_ ). It was also the first date Jake had been on that required a one-point-five hour drive to maintain secrecy. Holt had let Jake choose the music for twelve minutes before turning the car stereo off completely. Jake had let Holt choose the wine at dinner, and pretended to understand the terminology Holt used to describe it. It was perfect.

Then there was the time they both got sick interrogating a perp who turned out to be contagiously ill (and also a serial arsonist). A week of departmentally mandated sick leave where they could realistically only see each other - lest they get the others sick - was actually the perfect cover to spend a week together. Not that they could get up to too much - being ill didn't usually make for good sex - but they took turns choosing movies and Holt bought Jake a lot of comfort take-out, even if it made himself feel even more queasy, because it made Jake happy.

There was also the time Jake had rushed in and arrested a suspected felon before getting sufficient evidence. The whole squad had to stay over the weekend and most had to sleep at the precinct. It was hell. In the end, Jake got his confession, but Holt had still kept him behind after finally sending everyone else home and spanked him so thoroughly over the desk in his office that Jake couldn't sit down properly the next day. It pleased Holt immensely when he noticed.

Holt's arm tightened around Jake, and the younger man pressed himself further into the embrace, tucking the top of his head under his Captain's chin.

He was sleepy now, so very sleepy.

His breathing slowed, and memories slipped seamlessly into dreams.


	4. Days Like These

Three days later, Jake was standing on his desk.

“Ladies and gentleman, today, we have been presented with a rare gift. A beautiful gift. Captain Holt and the Serg have just left the precinct for at least an hour to do Terry’s one-to-one performance evaluation. … I have but one suggestion. We may not have enough time to host a full Jimmy Jab games, but what if we hosted just one game?… I call it, the Mini Jab Games!” Jake leapt off his desk to stand in the middle of the loose circle that had formed near his desk.

He turned slowly on the spot, looking at everybody in turn. “This lunchtime, we will be playing a classic - ‘the floor is lava’!” Jake threw his arms up in the air.

“Lame!”

“Thank you, Rosa, your enthusiasm is always appreciated”. Rosa wasn’t the only one looking underwhelmed by the suggestion.

“She’s not wrong, Jake - that is lame. You’re usually better than this at wasting time.” This time it was Gina, the only person who hadn’t gotten out of her seat when Jake leapt onto his desk. She was still leaning back in her office chair, feet up on her desk and phone still in her hand.

Despite the less than eager reaction from the rest of the squad, Jake was still grinning.

“Oh, I may have forgotten to mention one very important detail - tasers.” And just like that, he had their attention, and Jake was thriving off it. “Oh yeah, you heard me. Tasers. We don’t have any real lava, obviously, so anyone touching the floor is fair game for tasing. Got it?” Jake was turning on the spot, gauging everyone’s reactions. Rosa was the first to speak up.

“Dude. That is dangerous and ridiculous… and I love it. I’m in.” A tension fell across the group - they were all far too competitive to back away from the challenge.

Chaos erupted.

Five minutes later, Gina - who, as a civilian, shouldn’t even have one NYPD taser - had gotten ahold of two and was dual-wielding them atop her desk. Jake was kneeling on his office chair _for mobility_ and spinning around for 360 visibility. Hitchcock and Scully were just thrilled that this game was centred around not standing up. Rosa was out for blood, and like Jake she was using her office chair to roll around the bullpen, trying to get the others to touch the floor by knocking them off balance. Charles had already been tased once when he tried to dash across the room to Jake’s desk to act as a self-appointed bodyguard. Amy was sitting cross-legged on her desk (‘for stability, losers’). Everybody was shouting.

Rosa flicked her wrist to extend her baton and started trying to bat Jake out of his chair, just as the elevator dinged. The ruckus was so loud, none of the squad heard it, which was so very unfortunate.

“What the hell is going on here?” Captain Holt roared. The whole squad twisted around in shock; Jake moved so fast that he finally did fall out of his chair, and was promptly tased by Rosa, apparently instinctively. Behind the Captain, Terry also looked absolutely murderous.

“Diaz!? Somebody answer me!”

Rosa’s focus snapped to where it should be, on her very angry superiors. Inhaling deeply, Rosa met Holt’s eyes.

“… The floor is lava… Jake is in it… Sir.”

It was the wrong thing to say.

*

The next twenty minutes were pure hell. Santiago looked like she was going to cry, and everyone else was sat quietly at their desks, trying not to breathe too loud, lest Terry start crushing things.

As it turned out, the cafe that the Serg and the Captain were planning on having a light lunch at had closed down. So, they had decided to simply grab a coffee and head back to the precinct early to finish the meeting in Holt’s office. On the whole, Jake thought that Holt had over-reacted a teensy bit. After all, they were on lunch, and ‘gross misuse of NYPD equipment’ was a rather strong phrase for what Jake termed a ‘ _friendly tasing_ ’.

Pulling up his emails, Jake started composing an email to Amy.

> _Cheer up Ames. It’ll be fine. You worry too much._
> 
> _P.s nice job zapping Charles, were you aiming for the butt or was that Gods work?_

Jake hit send and looked over towards the Captain’s office; Holt was very angry, and not like kinky-pretend-angry. He was debating going in to see him, but was worried it would appear weird to the rest of the squad. After all, six months ago he wouldn’t have done such a thing, he would have stayed at his desk until it all blew over naturally.

He refreshed his email to see a new message from Amy.

> _I’m not in the mood Jake; Captain Holt is really mad._
> 
> _P.S. The grammar in your email made me feel worse. You suck._

Sighing, he didn’t reply directly and instead clicked the ‘compose new’ button. He added Amy, Gina, Charles and Rosa to the 'recipients' bar and started typing out a new message.

> _I feel like there may be a small chance that this is my fault for suggesting it. Should I go and speak to the Captain? Tell him we’re sorry?_

Jake was really hoping that someone else would volunteer, but within five minutes he’d received replies from all four of his friends crushing that feeble hope.

He purposely didn’t look over at Terry’s desk as he got up, walked over to Holt’s office and knocked on the door. There was no response.

“Captain Holt?” Jake tried, knocking again. There was still no response. Maybe he should have just returned to his desk, but he couldn’t handle being ignored by Holt, even before they had become involved with each other.

Jake took a deep breath and pushed the door open, keeping his eyes on the floor as he stepped into the office and shut the door behind him.

“What was the point in knocking if you’re just going to enter anyway, Peralta?” Oh no, he was using contractions, this wasn’t good.

Jake finally looked up and tried smiling, but immediately stopped when he saw the look on Holt’s face. _Grovelling it is, oh boy._ Slowly, Jake shuffled over to the desk.

“Sir… I’m really-” Holt interrupted before he could finish. “Why is it that whenever something happens, it is always you, Peralta. Every time I think you’re starting to grow up, you prove me wrong. I am at a loss, I really am. Why on Earth would you think that is an appropriate activity, let alone an appropriate activity for a police precinct?”

“Sir… I… It was just…” Jake paused. Holt hated floundering, so he needed to choose his words wisely. “I’m really sorry, I thought it would be fun, but it was irresponsible and totally inappropriate for work. I didn’t take that into consideration and that was short-sighted of me. I’m sorry.”

Jake couldn’t quite tell, but he thought he saw Holt’s expression soften the tiniest bit. Slightly encouraged (and slightly desperate), Jake threw caution to the wind and rounded the desk; he clambered onto his lover’s lap and wrapped his arms around his neck.

“I’m sorry” he whispered, taking Holt’s face in his hands and kissing him gently. “I didn’t mean to make you mad”.

“No, you did not mean for me to find out, there is a difference” Holt admonished, but wrapped his arms around Jake regardless.

They were silent for a minute, and Jake was feeling very uneasy. He hadn’t even considered the consequences when he’d come up with the idea for lunchtime Mini Jabs. _Maybe that’s my problem: act first, think later._

“Okay, Peralta, here is what is going to happen. Tonight, I am hosting this week’s book club meeting. You are going to come over and prove to me that you can act your age.” Jake leant back slightly to look at Holt whilst he was talking to him. “You will wear a shirt. You will wear a tie. You will not bring up those movies you have seen.” Holt listed. “You are going to talk less, listen more, and together we will be perfect hosts. Acceptable?”

Jake exhaled, he wasn’t off the hook yet, but he was being offered a chance to make up for his poor decisions. Somewhere in the depths of Jake’s brain, he also registered that Holt was asking him to co-host a social gathering with him, which had never happened before. This was a chance for him. _I can’t mess this up, I won’t mess this up._

“I’ll be on my best behaviour. Best co-host ever. I promise, Sir.”

Holt held Jake a little tighter for a second, then let his arms drop from around his detective.

“Okay, Jacob, now get back to work”.

*

At seven thirty-five pm, Jake found himself standing at Holt’s side, greeting the members of his book club, and trying desperately to commit their names to memory as they entered the house and introduced themselves to him.

_Francis, Amelia, Jonathon, Gregory, Juliette, Victor…_

Jake shook hands again and again until there was just one man left to be introduced to him.

“Raymond, Jake, please allow me to introduce our newest member to you both” Victor said jovially, gesturing at the tall, thin man next to him. The new member stepped towards Holt and outstretched his hand.

“A pleasure to meet you, Raymond. My name is Kevin Cozner”.


	5. The Book Club

The new member stepped back from Holt and turned to Jake.

"Kevin, lovely to meet you." Jake smiled and shook hands one final time. The group proceeded into the study where the book club meeting was to be held, and Jake couldn't help but shoot Holt - _Ray, he'd been told to use 'Ray' tonight_ \- a discreet grin as they walked. He hoped it conveyed what he was thinking: _so far, nailing it!_

The book club members started to take their seats and Jake picked up a small wicker basket that Holt had left on the side earlier, offering it around the circle. Apparently, the group put their phones on silent and in a small basket or box during their meetings; this seemed super lame to Jake, but he was determined to do every part of the evening, perfectly, no matter how seemingly lame.

Next up was wine and appetisers, so Jake excused himself and headed down to the kitchen. On the way there, he looked at the writing on his palm ( _'Boo-shar Finlayson, pee-no nwar'_ ) just for a little refresher vis-a-vis the wine (Jake still couldn't see what was wrong with just saying 'red'). He dragged out his trip to the kitchen as much as he dared. After all, he hadn't read the book they were discussing, and Holt had forbidden him from trying to memorise the Wikipedia summary page for it. Though Jake would never admit it out loud, he could see Holt's point of view - it would be much worse to try and flounder through a discussion on a book he knew next to nothing about, than it would be to simply listen (and maybe even learn) from those who had.

When he returned with the tray of wine glasses and vol-au-vents, the group were already deep in discussion. The newcomer - _Kevin? Kevin._ \- had evidently just said something funny as the rest of the club were chuckling.

Surprisingly, the meeting was nowhere near as boring as Jake expected. It definitely wasn't fun, not by a long shot, but it was nice to hear the man he cared about talk about his passions, and the other book club members seemed nice enough.

Even more surprisingly, Jake was holding up pretty well. So far, he'd been polite and courteous; he chuckled at all the right times (mainly by watching the expressions of the lady - _Juliette_ \- sat opposite him) and he made sure to offer drink top-ups when a suitable opportunity occurred. Roughly one hour in, Holt announced that they would be taking a ten-minute break so guests could stretch their legs, use the restroom, and the like. To Jake's pleasure, Holt immediately twisted in the seat next to him to smile at him. _A real, human smile!_ Holt leant in a little as he whispered "you are doing great, Jake. I am so proud of you." Jake's heart was so full at that moment.

As Holt leant back again, they were interrupted.

"Raymond, I must say, these vol-au-vents are delightful. Now, I know we are on a break, but I simply must know more about your thoughts on the correlation between Francie getting older and her view on poverty, which some have said 'loses its innocence' as time progresses." It was Kevin, who had taken a seat on Holt's other side. Holt turned to face Kevin and immediately delved into an in-depth explanation of his viewpoint, and Jake felt a very minor tinge of annoyance that this new-comer had made Holt turn his back to Jake. Sometimes, Jake wondered if Holt wished that he was more knowledgable about the classical side of art, literature, and music. It wasn't that Jake was unintelligent, his specialities were just different.

Ten minutes later, Holt and Kevin were still in discussion, and Jake was beginning to get antsy.

_As if Kevin has taken up nine and a half minutes of the break! This break was my one chance to properly talk to Holt during this meeting! Wait, no. No. Tonight is about Holt spending time with his friends. I can share his attention, cool cool cool, no doubt no dou- does Kevin have to sit that close? Surely he can back up a bit. Wait, no, this is jealousy and jealousy is an ugly emotion. No ugly emotions, no ugly emotions, no ugly emotions-_

"What was that, Jake?" Holt had twisted around, and Jake blushed. He must have started to mumble his thoughts, it happened sometimes, detectives habit.

"Oh, uh, nothing, Sir-Ray, Raymond, my Raymond. Sorry, please continue" Jake could feel that his cheeks were still flushed, and Holt raised an eyebrow at him quizzically.

"It is quite alright, Jake, the break is at an end now, so we will be returning to the main agenda". Holt then turned to address the group as a whole, and the meeting continued.

Finally, nine-thirty rolled around, and the meeting drew to a close. As a group, they all rose from their seats and descended back to the entrance to say their goodnights.

"Goodnight, Victor, Juliette, Francis, Amelia..." Jake was shaking hands again, making sure to use everyone's names to show that he had remembered them. Again, Kevin was the last person to approach Holt and Jake. He shook Jake's hand, smiling kindly at him, before turning to Holt and shaking hands with him, too.

"Raymond, what can I say. You've put together a fantastic evening. In fact, I was wondering if you would like to join me for brunch on the 18th? I would love to discuss an academic paper that I'm writing with you; it focuses on Victorian literature. I feel like your thoughts on the subject matter would be invaluable".

_Ugly emotion, ugly emotion, ugly emotion._

"I will check my calendar and get back to you. I am always up for discussions regarding one of the most notable periods of literature". They were laughing and Jake's stomach was twisting slightly, he just wanted everyone to leave so that he could have Holt back to himself. Very quickly, Jake got his wish. Holt closed the front door once the whole group was outside and turned to Jake, striding towards him and pulling him into his arms.

"That was amazing, Jake. Really, you did so well. You were a fabulous host. I knew you could do it" and then Holt was kissing him. The majority of Jake's brain was telling him to push his small moment of insecurity aside, and just bask in Holt's praise and the success of the evening. Except he just couldn't help himself.

"Hey, so, um, that brunch... with Kevin... you are looking forward to that, or...?" Jake trailed off and Holt gently grasped his shoulders and looked into his eyes.

"Jake, are you jealous of my book club? More specifically, are you jealous of a man I have known for all of two hours?" Holt's tone was serious but kind. Meanwhile, Jake was averting his eyes.

"No! Of course not... why, why would you think that?" Jake's response was much too quick; he wasn't a particularly good liar, and Holt had always been able to see right through him. He felt Holt's finger start to trace his jaw, and he looked up reluctantly.

"Jacob... you have nothing to worry about. I am not romantically interested in Kevin, or anyone else from my book club. I am not romantically interested in anyone that is not you" Holt was so sincere that Jake found himself moving closer to him automatically, pressing himself tight to the other man. "I will not be attending any brunches or similar if it makes you uncomfortable, I promise."

Jake was starting to feel that he may have been over-reacting, though it wasn't a bad feeling. "Sorry, sometimes I just get a little bit..." Jake didn't finish his sentence, he didn't need to. Holt would know what he meant, even if he couldn't find the right words. "Soooo... am I forgiven for my little work oopsie earlier?"

"Yes, but you are still going to be punished" Holt was smirking at him, actually smirking. _So many visible emotions in one evening... nobody from the squad would ever believe me if I told. Good thing this is a secret, anyway._

"But I did so good tonight! You just said!" It felt like little sparks of electricity were pulsing through his body. Holt had taken his hand and was leading him upstairs and into the bedroom whilst they spoke.

"Exactly. If I was mad at you, we definitely would not be engaging in what I have planned for us tonight..." Holt pushed the bedroom door closed behind them and turned back to Jake. "Now... the floor is lava, Jacob. Get on the damn bed."


	6. Nights Like These

Holt grasped Jake's wrists and pinned them above his head. He paused for the briefest moment and then shot Jake a barely-there smile. "You wrote the phonetics for the wine on your hand? You are adorable." He then started to kiss Jake's neck in a way that made the detective squirm pleasurably. Much too soon for Jake's liking, his Captain pulled back.

"Sir... please?" Jake breathed, and Holt shook his head slightly.

"My request from earlier still stands, Jacob. 'Ray' tonight, if you please." Jake didn't have time to respond before Holt was flipping him over so that he was laying on his stomach. He shut his eyes and let his body relax against the soft sheets, waiting patiently for whatever Holt was about to do next.

He didn't have to wait very long. Without warning, Holt's tongue was on him, and Jake let out a startled moan. This seemed to please Holt, who started to move his tongue more enthusiastically. Soon, Jake was rolling his hips, trying to get more from Holt, as well as friction from the bed beneath him. He was so very hard. When Holt pulled away, Jake couldn't help but let out a whine of disappointment, which promptly turned into a gasp when he felt a sharp smack on the right side of his ass. Jake twisted to grin over his shoulder.

"Wipe that smile off of your face. This is a punishment, remember?" Holt admonished, though Jake knew him to be teasing. "Get on your hands and knees." Jake turned back around and obeyed. Holt's hand came down on him three more times in quick succession, harder this time, and Jake did indeed stop grinning. "Better, Jacob? Or is that still not enough for you?" Another one, this time nearer the sensitive skin on the inside of his left thigh. "I asked you a question." _Smack. Smack. Smack._

"Sorry, sorry, this is good, this is good, it's-" Jake wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying, too caught up in the sensations. Holt's hand was gentle on him now, rubbing soothing circles on the red marks he'd made. Jake wasn't expecting the final smack; he gasped and Holt made a noise of satisfaction behind him. Then Jake was being pulled onto his back again, and he found himself grinning up at his lover.

"Oh yeah? Ready for more?" Holt questioned. He leant to the side and Jake heard the tell-tale noise of a bedside drawer sliding out, and the click of a bottle lid being opened.

"What do you think?" Jake teased, before the sensation of Holt's finger pushing inside him shut him up entirely.

Before he knew it, he found himself being guided off the bed and then being promptly bent over the edge of it. Holt placed several kisses along the back of Jake's neck and shoulders, before grasping his hips and pushing inside him. Holt picked up to a steady pace that he knew Jake loved. That was one of the beautiful things about getting comfortable with a lover, you started to learn exactly how to please them. Jake tried so very hard to keep quiet, but he had never been good at that, in or out of the bedroom. Besides, it wasn't as if Holt ever complained about it. "Oh my God... oh God... oh God..."

Holt slowed significantly but didn't stop. "Are you close, Jake? Do you want to come for me?" His voice was low and rough, and Jake was drowning in want. Not trusting his voice to stay steady, Jake started nodding frantically. "Well, you are not allowed. Not yet. Not until I say." Holt sped up again, hands tight on Jake's hips.

"What?! No, please. Please, please, please," Jake chanted, but Holt was unrelenting. Jake was so close he could cry, his whole body was on fire.

"What was that, Jacob? You may have to repeat that for me." Jake wanted to scream; he'd been so close for so long, and he knew Holt was really going to make him beg for it. It was a good thing that Jake was shameless in these situations.

"'Please', I said 'please'. Please let me come, I'm so close, please." Jake thought it was futile until he felt Holt's chest against his back, and his lips graze his ear.

"Come for me, Jacob," Holt whispered, and immediately he felt Jake arch under him. Jake's hands tightened into balls in the sheets, and he let out a muffled moan. When Jake relaxed under him, Holt pulled out and pulled Jake into position one final time. He pushed Jake onto his knees in front of him and looked into his detective's eyes. Jake's entire face was flushed and he looked thoroughly well-fucked. Cheekily, Jake stuck his tongue out, and Holt knew that he had caught on with what he was about to do. Jake's eyes fluttered shut seconds before his boyfriend finished. Moments later, Jake felt fingers weave their way into his hair, and he opened his eyes, grinning up at his Captain.

"God, Jacob. You are..." Holt gently helped Jake to his feet. "You are incredible. Come on, we need to get you cleaned up, and then we should go to bed. We have work tomorrow morning, and you look exhausted." Jake let himself be led to the shower in the en-suite bathroom. He was in a state of sheer bliss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick poll for you guys, do you prefer the idea of Jake calling him Ray or Holt (outside of work?)
> 
> As always, thank you for the support!


	7. The Indian Moon

“Squad! Briefing room, five minutes,” Holt’s voice called across the bullpen, much too loud for the time of morning, in Jake’s opinion. He was feeling extra sleepy as he’d had to get up an hour earlier than usual in order to get home and get ready for work. _No regrets, though, totally worth it._

Jake pushed himself up from his desk and dragged his feet as he walked to the briefing room. Amy was the only detective already sat down - she was always first in, _nerd_ \- and she looked tired, so he smiled at her.

“Morning, Santiago. Ooh, large coffee… someone keeping you up last night?” Jake took his usual seat as he spoke.

Amy rolled her eyes at Jake’s suggestive tone. “I wish, but no. I stayed up watching re-runs of Property Brothers… that’s sad, isn’t it?”

“No, no! But, I will be taking your phone and installing Tinder on it at the first possible opportunity.” At that moment, the rest of the squad started to file into the room, including the Serg and the Captain, so Jake turned in his chair to face the front.

“Listen up, squad. We have a busy day ahead, so let us keep this succinct,” Holt started, and Jake couldn’t help but whisper to Amy out of the corner of his mouth.

“Keeping it succinct in the precinct. He wants to keep this brief, brief.” Jake noticed that Holt was fixing him with a stare, so he grinned at him, and then mimed zipping his lips shut. Holt gave the faintest smile in return, too subtle for the rest of the group to catch it.

“Since Detective Peralta is in the mood to share, we shall start with him. Where are you on the B and E at the Indian Moon, Detective?” The Indian Moon was a local restaurant that had been broken into in the early hours of yesterday morning. Not much had been taken, and Jake wasn’t expecting it to be a particularly thrilling case.

“It’s coming along but I haven’t got too much to go on. No CCTV on-site, and no conclusive prints from forensics. I’m going back to the scene today to see if we missed anything.” Jake leant back in his chair and took a couple of seconds to admire how good Holt looked in his Captain’s uniform. _Everyone loves a man in a uniform._

“Okay, make sure you do. Diaz, Santiago - bring us up to speed on your methamphetamine bust.” The briefing continued on for a further fifteen minutes before the Captain dismissed the room. Jake made sure to wink at him on the way out.

Back out in the bullpen, Jake resolved to get the visit to the Indian Moon out of the way sooner rather than later. He grabbed his leather jacket from the back of his office chair and decided to get a cup of coffee on the way. It was so very cold out, and the Starbucks on the corner knew his usual order ( _caramel macchiato, extra vanilla syrup, extra caramel drizzle, less hot_ ). After all, maybe Santiago hadn’t had someone keeping her up last night, but he certainly had.

*

Jake ducked under the crime scene tape, coffee in hand, and glanced around. He was the only one here, which really wasn’t unexpected, it wasn’t exactly a high-profile case.

The restaurant was nice enough, except for the mess caused by the break-in. Rich purple and white ran throughout, and the owners clearly took pride in it. Jake put his coffee down on one of the round tables and pulled on his gloves before scanning the area. The glass door had been smashed, and there was damage to a couple of chairs. Additionally, the back office had been torn apart, and the till drawer had been ransacked. He crouched down to look at the shards of broken glass by the door but spotted nothing that he hadn’t before. He let out a deep breath and looked up, and then, he saw it. On the ceiling was a dark stain, not particularly large, but Jake was fairly sure that it wasn’t there the last time he’d been at the scene.

Jake had seen enough blood at a crime scene to recognise it when he saw it, though he couldn’t think of why there would be blood on the ceiling, but no-where else, even if there was lots of broken glass around. He took a photo of it and stood in thought for a moment.

Suddenly inspired, Jake started to stride through the kitchen and towards the back of the building. There, he found what he was looking for, a small staircase. He’d seen another detective go up here on their first inspection, but they hadn’t reported finding anything suspicious. The space upstairs was cramped, poorly lit, and smelled awful. He turned on his flashlight for better visibility and started to look around. The majority of the space was filled with dusty storage boxes - which were stacked almost to the ceiling - and bulk bags of ingredients such as rice. When the light hit it, Jake noticed that the dust pattern on one of the box piles didn’t quite match its neighbours. He tucked his flashlight under his arm, moved the top two boxes to the floor, and shone his torch into the gap they made.

Jake took an automatic step back, and then another one, before turning around and hurrying back down the staircase. When he reached the bottom, he pulled out his phone and made a call. Holt answered on the second ring.

“Hey, um, so I have an update for you on that B and E." Jake bit his lip and looked back up at the stain on the ceiling.

"Oh? Are you still at the Indian Moon? Did you find something?” The captain sounded hopeful.

“Uh, yeah… a body.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the love on the last chapter! 
> 
> P.S, This isn't going to turn into a crime-story centred around a case, but I figured we'd see Jakey at work a little bit more, because that leads to more precinct hijinks!
> 
> Hope you enjoy!


	8. Amy Hitchcock

“So, how does it feel to still be babysat by Holt?” Rosa grinned wickedly as she perched on the edge of Jake’s desk.

Jake rolled his eyes and leant back in his chair. After the rather unexpected find at the Indian Moon, Holt had put himself on the case with Jake, and it had taken no time at all for the squad to start their jokes. That was two days ago, and they still hadn’t quite grown tired of it. In reality, Holt hadn’t assigned himself to the case to babysit his detective, those days were long gone. No, he’d assigned himself to the case because it was a fair excuse to work one-on-one with Jake; plus, he had been rather intrigued by the turn of events, from B and E to murder. However, it was very convenient for Jake and Holt to let the squad have their little ‘babysitting’ joke, so he let it slide.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was just desperate to see a master detective in action. Anyway, don’t you have some paperwork to do? Santiago was bragging about your meth bust so loudly earlier that I’m pretty sure the ninety-eight heard.” Diaz snorted and slid off the desk without a comeback. Jake was one to talk, though; he had paperwork to do for the Indian Moon Murder.

The case was nearly entirely wrapped up. The woman Jake had found was one Mrs Samuels; it turned out that she was having an affair with the restaurant owner, and when her husband found out, he killed her and tried to frame said restaurant owner by hiding her body on his premises. He then staged the break-in to draw police to the restaurant, hoping that they would find Mrs Samuels in their search. However, Mr Samuels wasn’t exactly a criminal mastermind; there were several flaws in his plan and it hadn’t taken more than forty-eight hours for Holt and Jake to arrest him as their prime suspect.

Jake sat at his desk half-heartedly writing his report for about fifteen minutes before throwing his pen down. He couldn’t concentrate properly, and it was ridiculous. He kept finding himself thinking that he should have dragged this case out longer. _But that’s insane, I can’t not do my job because I want to spend more time with Ray at work._ The logical part of Jake’s mind knew this, and that was what kept him crawling through his report.

It had been nice, though. After Jake had called him from the Indian Moon, Holt had taken a cab down to the crime scene to meet Jake. This confused Jake at first - they had squad cars for a reason - but he’d later realised that it was so they could drive back together. Holt pretended not to hear when Jake pointed this out. About five minutes into the drive back to the precinct, Jake remembered that his nearly-full coffee was still sat on the table in the restaurant. ‘There’s a Starbucks drive-thru right there!’ he had whined, ‘can’t we go through quickly so I can get another one?’. Holt had replied that he refused, point blank, to order Jake’s ‘monstrosity’ of a coffee. Though, one minute later, he’d pulled into the queue, and was ordering Jake’s ‘monstrosity’ without having to check with him what it was. It made Jake feel very warm inside.

But now, he was back at the office, completing the _hell-task_ that was paperwork and trying so very hard not to think about the man in the office across the bullpen. Jake just couldn’t wrap his head around it. He was never like this; he’d been in his fair share of relationships in the past - albeit with women - and he’d never been, for lack of a better word, clingy.

He continued with his paperwork for another painstaking fifteen minutes and was almost done when Amy rolled her chair around to sit next to him.

“So, I know you were joking, but I actually did download Tinder.” She waved the phone in her hand half-heartedly as she spoke. “Want to help me find a dreamboat in amongst the creeps?”

“Oh my God.” Jake was grinning like Christmas had come early. “Absolutely, of course I do. Open it up!” Jake leant in a bit so he could see the screen of Amy’s phone better.

She took a dramatic deep breath. “Right, here we go. No, no, yes, no, Jesus Christ, is that Hitchcock?!” Amy exclaimed, and then turned to look over her shoulder towards Hitchcock’s desk.

Jake studied the profile for a second longer before looking up at Amy. “You have to give the man some credit. It takes balls to look like that and say that you’re only thirty.” He then reached out and promptly swiped right on Amy’s phone for her, causing a ‘match’ pop up to appear.

“Hey!” She smacked Jake on the arm, but Jake was having far too much fun to care.

“Sorry! …not sorry. Right, next person. Hey, this guy looks okay! Smart dresser and fairly handsome. Let’s read his bio.” Amy did as Jake said and pulled up the man’s ‘about me’ section. It read: ’Looking for a feminist to buy me dinner.’

Amy groaned audibly whilst Jake fought very hard to keep his face serious. “So… he’s a maybe?” Amy hit him again as he dissolved into laughter. This was good, this was what he needed. It was unhealthy to spend all day obsessing over Holt - he needed to do other things too, like spend time with his friends (and his paperwork).

“Dear God, there really are no good men left, huh?” Amy sighed dramatically, closing the app and putting her phone down on Jake’s desk. “I’m not asking for a lot, just a nice, normal man, who isn’t a cop, and knows the difference between ‘there’, ‘their’, and ‘they’re’. Why is that so hard to find?”

“Speaking as someone who meets none of those requirements, I don’t know what to tell you. Also, you literally only considered six men, _and_ you got a match!”

“That match was Hitchcock!”

“Well, I think you should follow up on that. ‘Amy Hitchcock’ has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?” Amy was rolling her chair back around to her side of the desk before Jake had even finished his sentence, though she did continue to talk to him over the top of her computer monitor.

“Knock it off, Peralta. Anyway, it’s not like you can talk. When was the last time you went on a date?”

_Oo, dangerous territory. Pay attention, think about your answers before you say them._

“Okay, okay, so it’s been a while, but we’re talking about your disaster of a dating life right now.” Jake was glad that she had moved back around to her own side of the desk - it was much easier to lie when his facial expression couldn’t be seen.

Amy hummed for a second. “You should ask Gina or Rosa if they know anybody, see if they’ll set you up. I would ask Skully, Hitchcock or Boyle but… no, thank you.”

Jake smiled, he did have a good answer for this one, and it wasn’t one word of a lie. “Do you remember what happened the last time I let Gina set me up with one of her friends? It was two years ago, and I still can’t go to Parkview Diner without picturing a woman turning up in a floor-length red cloak.”

He heard Amy snort behind her monitor as he picked up his report again - he was so nearly finished, and then he could take it into Holt. Jake focused his attention and soon enough, it was complete. He made his way over to the captain’s office, but was surprised to find the room empty. Backing up, he turned to Gina, who was staring at her phone so intensely that she probably hadn’t even realised that Jake was next to her.

“Hey, Gina, do you know where Holt is?”

She still didn’t look up from her phone as she answered ‘evidence locker’. “Thanks, Gina” he called in a sing-song voice as he walked away.

Holt was indeed in the evidence locker, though he hadn’t noticed Jake come in behind him. Quietly, Jake put his report on top of a random box, walked up behind his superior, and wrapped his arms around his waist, pressing a kiss to the back of his neck.

“Hey, Captain, fancy bumping into you down here” Jake teased, as Holt turned in his embrace to face him. He got the vague impression he was about to be scolded, so he quickly pressed on in the same flirtatious tone. “I finished that report for you.”

Holt paused in thought for a second, before relaxing a fraction, and bring his arms up around Jake in return. “Good boy. Is it on my desk?” he murmured.

Jake shook his head. “No, I bought it down with me. Special delivery.” Then, he pressed up on his toes just a fraction, and kissed him, slow and sweet.

They broke apart, and Holt smiled somewhat indulgently down at him. Then, in an instant, his expression turned to shock, and he stepped back quickly out of Jake’s arms.

“Detective Diaz!” Holt exclaimed, and Jake felt like someone had just tipped ice water over his head. Very slowly, he looked over his shoulder. Rosa was standing in the doorway of the evidence locker.


	9. Aftermath

Rosa lifted both of her hands in mock surrender.

“Hey, um, so this is clearly none of my business” she let her arms drop to her sides and paused, as if contemplating whether to add anything else. She evidently decided not to and spun on heel to awkwardly exit the room.

Holt seemed unable to think of anything to say; his expression was completely blank, and as unreadable as ever. Jake, on the other hand, was full of panic-induced energy.

“Rosa!” he blurted out, starting to scurry after her. He had only taken a few steps when she turned back around to face him, and he nearly collided with her.

“Dude. I saw nothing, I heard nothing, and that’s that. Like I said, this isn’t any of my business. Relax, okay? Now I’m going to… be anywhere that isn’t here. See ya.” Then she turned again, closing the door behind her. This time, Jake let her go, feeling slightly less jittery.

Instead, he stepped back over to Holt, who still looked blank. Jake wanted to reach out to him, but it seemed like the wrong time given the circumstances.

Forcing himself to meet his Captain’s eyes, Jake took a breath. “I’m… I’m sorry, that was my fault…” Holt didn’t react. “Um… Captain? … Sir? It’s okay, you heard Rosa, she won’t say anything about us… oh God, but now she also knows I’m bi, but she’s also bi, so she won’t care, right? I’ll talk to her again later. Are you mad at me?” Still nothing. “Ray? Please talk to me. I said I’m sorry, don’t shut me out.” There was a note of pleading in Jake’s voice, and it seemed to snap Holt out of his thoughts.

“Sorry, Peralta, I was just processing, and… thinking.” Despite Jake’s enhanced ability to decipher Holt’s emotions, he was lost, and getting antsy again; this time he did gently grasp Holt’s hand, but not before glancing around into every corner.

He wasn’t sure what made him say it, but the words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. “Are you going to leave me? Please… Please, don’t break up with me. I know that wasn’t great, but I don’t think anything bad will happen. Rosa can keep a secret, and-” Jake trailed off as he realised he’d descended into rambling.

For a second, Jake expected Holt to pull his hand away. Instead, Holt pulled their joined hands up between them and put his other hand over the top, so that he was holding one of Jake’s hands between both of his own. “No, Jake, I’m not leaving you. I just need a bit of time to process what just happened. I know Detective Diaz said that she will not mention what she just witnessed, but that is not the point. We were careless, and that could have been much worse if somebody else had found us.” Holt was speaking slowly, as if weighing every word.

With a squeeze, Holt lowered their hands and gently released Jake. “I told you I am not leaving you, Jacob. There is no need to look so distraught.” Slowly but surely, Holt’s expression was becoming more decipherable to Jake, again.

He relaxed a fraction. “What do we do now?”

“We go back to work. I’m going to look over your report, and you are going to go for lunch - it is already nearly two pm. If you do decide to talk to Detective Diaz again, then I would suggest you do it outside of the precinct. Okay?” Holt led Jake towards the door of the evidence locker.

Just before Holt grasped the door handle, Jake reached out to stop him one more time. “Okay, yeah, um… am I still invited around your’s tonight?”

A small smile graced Holt’s lips, _finally displaying human emotions again._ “Of course, Jacob. Stop overthinking it. We will talk about this later, but you do not need to panic. We are just going to work out some new ground rules, especially for work. Now, get a move on. I told you to go and get some lunch”.

*

Jake perched himself on the edge of Rosa’s desk, in a mirror image of how she was sat with him earlier. She didn’t need to say a word - her expression clearly said ‘please just leave it, Jake’. However, this was Jake Peralta she was dealing with, and naturally he was not going to leave it alone.

He spoke quietly, but without making it look like he was whispering, because he knew for a fact that all of his colleagues were the nosiest people alive. “Rosa, have you gone for lunch yet? If not, do you wanna-” he was cut off.

“No.” Rosa stared intently at her computer screen again.

That was the response he had expected, but in the few minutes it had taken him to re-enter the bullpen, he had worked out a rough game plan. He nodded, and headed back to his desk; behind him, Rosa looked thoroughly surprised, until she saw Jake start typing rapidly at his computer. Her suspicions were confirmed when a new email appeared in her inbox.

> _Rosa please. I promise we dont have to talk about what just happened, or about who it happened with, but I could use someone to talk to about the bi thing. You understand. Even if its literally a 30 second convo. can we just do lunch? Im buying. you can choose the place. please.  
>  From one of your oldest and bestest friends, Jakeee (please don’t ignore my email. you know ill only bug you later if you do) (also please delete this email after you read it. covert ops stylez)._

Jake looked across the bullpen, waiting for Rosa to finish reading his message. He saw her sigh and look up, staring straight at him.

She gave him one small, begrudging nod.


	10. L Word

The restaurant Rosa chose was small and quiet, but very homely. Beautiful aromas drifted out from the kitchen, and the booth that they’d been sat at was comfortable and clean. They’d made small talk about the menu for a few minutes before the waitress came over to deliver their drinks and take their food order. Soon enough, though, she had left, and now it was just the two of them. Underneath the table, Jake bounced his leg nervously until Rosa kicked him in the shin.

“Dude, you have got to chill. If you’re still amped up when my linguine arrives, I’ll make you wear it” Rosa promised. Jake knew she was trying to make him smile (in her own weird way), so he grinned unconvincingly at her. When Jake didn’t speak up, she took a deep breath, as if steeling herself for something unpleasant. “Okay, let’s just get this over with. Just say it, Jake, you’ll feel better once you do… I think. You know how I feel about discussing emotions.”

Jake used his straw to play with the ice in his drink for a few moments before replying. “It’s just… you just found me kissing a guy. A guy who happens to be our Cap-, wait no, one crisis at a time. Forget who. It’s just… I don’t know, you seem so unbothered.” Jake wasn’t doing a great job of putting his thoughts into words; he knew what he meant, he just couldn’t find the right way to say it.

Rosa’s eyebrows shot upwards. “I don’t care that you’re bisexual, Jake. Why would I? That would be ridiculously hypocritical.”

Jake tried again, still struggling. “No, no, it’s… it’s not that I thought you’d be against it, or anything. It’s… that I’ve been lying to you, I think? Um, this isn’t coming out right. What I think I mean is: are you mad that I didn’t tell you?”

Rosa wanted to be exasperated - Jake’s worries were completely irrational, and he should know that - but she knew the feeling, and if there was ever a time for her to be empathetic, it was now. “No, dude, I’m not mad that you didn’t tell me. We don’t talk about our personal lives, that’s why you’re my best friend.”

She paused for a second, before continuing on in a tone that was a touch softer than before. “Plus, I know how hard it is to come out. I only just told you guys last year, and I’ve known for two decades so, no. Also, it’s not lying; it’s your choice when you want to come out, whether that’s age nine or ninety.” She moved her glass out of the way and leant across the table, so she was closer to Jake. “Also, you’re boning our Captain; that is definitely an acceptable thing to keep to yourself.”

As she leant back, their waitress reappeared with two steaming plates of pasta, and Jake allowed himself to be distracted by his spaghetti bolognese. _She makes sense, you know she does._ Finally, Jake relaxed. It was funny: when it had happened, he’d been so caught up in reassuring Ray that he hadn’t even fully realised his own panic. However, that panic had subsided; Rosa was a true friend, and she would keep this secret for him, he knew it with all his heart.

“Thanks, Rosa. I’m really glad that I get to call you my friend. So… want to eat pasta in comfortable silence and pretend we never had this conversation?” Jake’s smile was genuine this time. He had decided that it was time to bring the conversation back into Rosa’s comfort zone.

“Yup, though…” she trailed off, looking down briefly to swirl some linguine onto her fork. “I’m not sure if I want to ask or not, but since we’re already writing this conversation off… This thing that you and Holt have going on… is it some sort of office fling, or is it a relationship, or…?” Rosa still looked as though she wasn’t sure she wanted an answer, even after she’d finished asking the question.

Making the decision for her, Jake answered ‘a relationship’ almost immediately. Across the table, Rosa nodded slightly. “Are you in love with him?”

This time, Jake was caught off guard and rendered temporarily speechless. Firstly, it was not a question he ever expected to hear from Rosa, no matter who it was regarding. But, then again, her relationships with Marcus and Pimento had resulted in a subtle change in her willingness to talk about such things (a teensy, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it change, but still a change). Secondly, there was the question itself. Without conscious prompting, he found his thoughts clouded by memories of himself and his boyfriend: their first dates; the photograph incident; the evening after the book club; the warm feeling in his belly when Ray got him his coffee; the private, adoring smiles; the reassurances that Ray wouldn’t be walking out on him.

Gently, Jake put his fork down next to his plate.

“Yeah, yeah, I am. But I, uh, haven’t told him that.”

Rosa nodded again, and something like an understanding smile flashed across her face.

“Time to eat pasta in silence?” Jake ventured, and Rosa’s ‘yup’ was immediate.


	11. Pillow Talk

The rest of the workday passed slowly, despite how little there was of it left; by the time Jake left his apartment for the evening, he felt as if several days had passed since the incident, rather than a few hours. He just wanted to be in the comfort and privacy of Ray’s house. Weaving through the city traffic, Jake sang along under his breath to one of his mixtapes, driving the route somewhat automatically.

_’They say I did something bad, but why’s it feel so good? Most fun I ever had, and I’d do it over, and over, and over again if I could…’_

Jake flicked on his blinker and turned into Ray’s street, which was in the nicer area of town. They had never spoken about it, but Jake always went to his boyfriend’s, and not the other way round. Probably, because Jake’s apartment was essentially one big health and safety hazard, but it was kind of Ray to never point that out.

Within minutes, Jake was parked and lightly jogging up the steps to the front porch, where Ray opened the door before he’d even knocked; evidently, he’d been listening out for the sound of Jake’s car pulling up.

“Hey, Captain. Fancy seeing you here.” Jake grinned cheekily as he stepped inside, waiting just long enough for the door to be closed behind him before he wrapped his arms around the man in front of him.

After a quick kiss, Jake removed his jacket and shoes, and let himself be led to the dining room, where the table was laden with dishes of hot food. “Well, well, isn’t this a surprise!” Jake exclaimed, dropping gracelessly into a chair and grinning up at Ray, who took his own seat with rather more elegance. “Since when do you cook?”

It was common knowledge that his boyfriend had very little patience for food preparation, but the spread in front of Jake made his mouth water. “Hmm, well, I thought… maybe, a little extra effort would not go amiss…” he wasn’t meeting Jake’s eyes as he spoke, and his tone was just slightly more light than usual.

Jake raised one eyebrow. “You didn’t cook, did you? You ordered dinner and put it onto plates.” _Busted._

With the gig up, Ray looked up and chuckled briefly. “You got me. Though, you know full well that this is for the best.” The gesture was still very sweet, and Jake was endeared as he poured the wine (white, because Jake was far too likely to spill some on the carpet for red to be an option).

They made easy conversation for a bit, discussing the book Ray had just finished reading for tomorrow's book club meeting, and how they could dispose of Boyle’s ‘desk yoghurt’ without being caught. Though, the subject of work had introduced an elephant to the room; they both knew they should discuss the Rosa incident, but neither wanted to be the one to initiate the conversation.

In the end, it was Ray who took the plunge. “I think we should set some new ground rules for the precinct, Jake. Today was for too close to disaster for my taste. Frankly, we have grown reckless.”

Jake nodded, sipping on his wine perhaps a bit more frequently than he otherwise would. “Yeah, okay, so what are you thinking? No more making out in the evidence locker I assume… or your office” Jake still wasn’t fond of having serious conversations, but he was going to push through it.

Ray finished his forkful of food and nodded approvingly, “I think that is definitely a starting point, though, we might need to go a bit further than that. We need to make sure we are not being overly familiar.”

Jake couldn’t help but smirk a little. “You mean you won’t be calling me ‘babycakes’ at work? Fair, I think people might catch on”. Ray would rather die than use the name ‘babycakes’, and Jake knew that, but it was funny to see the disdain on his face.

“Quite” he drawled, though Jake could see he was mildly amused. They bounced ideas off of each other for a bit (the boldest of which involved Jake dating an imaginary woman, which they vetoed) until they were both reassured that they weren’t likely to have a repeat incident. It wasn’t until they were in bed later that night that Jake brought up something he’d often thought, but never mentioned.

“I know we can’t do anything about it, but I wish we didn’t have to be a secret. It would be nice if we could get lunch together without having to drive stupid far out. Or if I could hold your hand in public” he was sleepy and warm, and there was something comforting about their proximity which made Jake feel safe. He shuffled even closer. “Call you babe without you glaring at me” he smirked.

“You are obsessed with pet names, Jacob. But, aside from that one, I do understand the feeling. Trust me, I do not relish the fact that I have to hide you. I promised myself long ago that I was never going to hide my sexuality, or who I care for, but… this is not a situation I was thinking of when I made that promise. I would rather have you as a secret, than not have you at all… You’re not going to do something reckless, are you?” his fingers were playing with Jake’s hair, and Jake felt himself getting sleepier by the second.

“No, I just wanted you to know… babe.”

“Go to sleep, Jake.”


	12. Bright Like Christmas Lights

The weeks that followed passed in a blur, and with little of note happening (apart from Jake finally making action vis-a-vis Boyle’s desk yoghurt - it was not pretty). Before Jake knew it, it was December. It was a…. difficult time of the year for him. Coming from a broken home, he didn’t enjoy the holiday season as much as some of his co-workers; it just reminded him of how crappy Christmas felt as a kid once his dad was no longer there at the table. That was many years ago, though, and Jake was actually somewhat looking forward to the holiday season. He hadn’t spent it with a boyfriend (or girlfriend, for that matter) in a very long time.

Tonight was the precincts Christmas party, hosted at Shaw’s Bar, as per tradition. Ray had given Amy a half-day so that she could set up, and she was so ecstatic about putting her party planning skills to use that Jake was slightly worried she was going to pop the question to his man. Overall, he was in a good mood. He had even finally thought of a good Christmas present for Raymond ‘do not buy me gifts’ Holt (some new pants in his favourite colour - tan - and the newly released Franz Bluheim autobiography). By the time 5:30 rolled around, Jake practically skipped out of the precinct, eager to go home and get ready for the night ahead.

*

Shaw’s was as warm and as welcoming as ever. Officers from all floors and divisions of the nine-nine were sat at tables and gathered around the bar. Christmas music played quietly in the background, mixing with the frequent bursts of laughter from various groups.

_’Heaven, I'm in heaven  
And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak.’_

Jake and Ray were stood against one of the far walls. They knew that, somewhere, Charles had secured a table by getting there early, but they were in no rush to find him, or anyone else for that matter.

“Jake… I’ve been thinking.” Ray murmured, moving slightly closer to Jake’s side so that their shoulders touched.

“-always dangerous” the younger man interrupted.

Ray resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “I’ve been thinking… Detective Diaz has known about our relationship for a few weeks now and nothing has changed. It…” he trailed off and took a second to gather his thoughts. “We cannot, and should not, tell the squad at this point in time, but… I’m confident that, when the time is right, we will have both their support, and their discretion. We are very lucky to work with such open-minded, and non-judgemental people. Unfortunately, workplaces like our’s are still something of a rarity, but I am glad we get to be on the right side of things.”

Jake’s expression was soft as he looked at his boyfriend, but he didn’t open his mouth to reply; he never was good at serious emotions, and he didn’t want to say something stupid. After a few moments, he finally opened his mouth, but before he could speak, Ray was talking again.

“It’s alright, Jake. I know, trust me. I won’t make you say it out loud.” _Two contractions in one sentence? I really am wearing him down._

Taking a deep breath, Jake smiled up at the man who meant so much to him: as a friend, as a boss, as a boyfriend. “Merry Christmas, Sir.”

“Merry Christmas, babe.”

“Oh my god you called me ‘babe’, you did it, a pet name!” Jake bounced a little on this spot.

“For the first and last time ever. Consider it one of your Christmas gifts.” he paused for a second before adding, “I love you, Jake.”

“I love you, too” he responded, before rushing on. “Serious emotional moment not involving the words ‘toit’ or ‘noice’ - consider that one of _your_ Christmas gifts.”

Ray chuckled quietly, and the music played on.

_‘And I seem to find the happiness I seek  
When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! Where to start... 
> 
> I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in a couple months. I ended up getting stuck abroad for 3 months due to corona, and when I finally got home I had to take my finals for my law degree (I finished yesterday). Today, I found myself wondering what to do with my new found free time, and I suddenly remembered that I never finished this story!
> 
> I hate it when stories are abandoned, so I decided to come back and round this story off. Originally, I planned on this being longer, but I wasn't sure if I could maintain the upload schedule I had when I started (when I get into a writing schedule, I stick to it, but once it's broken, it's brooooken). I though it would be better to finish it here than not to finish it at all.
> 
> Anyhooozle, thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed it! I hope everyone is safe and in a good place - you have all of my love <3
> 
> \---
> 
> Sep 2020 Update: I re-read this and spotted several typos, oops! I've fixed these (and hopefully got them all). Sorry about that!


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